Guerillas in Their Midst
}} A blow is struck for the Azure City Resistance. Cast * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Ho Thanh ▶ * Niu ▶ * Isamu ▶ * Hobgoblin Granary Browncloak ▶ * Elderly Slave ▶ * Hobgoblin Newcomer to Granary * Hobgoblin Whipper from Granary * Three hobgoblin swordsmen * Eight Azurite slaves Transcript Hobgoblins drive human slaves to haul amphorae of food stuffs. A driver cracks a whip, "KRACKK!!" Slave: AHH! Newcomer: Reporting for duty. Browncloak: Welcome to the granary then. Browncloak: I don't know what your previous assignment was, but I'll fill you in on the basics. Browncloak: Your job really boils down to whipping these human slaves while they carry stuff from Point A to Point B. Newcomer: Does the whipping make them move faster? Browncloak: not really. But it is critically important to maximize the flavor of the food here. Newcomer: ...What? Browncloak: Well, we're a "Usually Evil" Race, so Evil food tastes better to us than Good food. Whipper: And Evil food starts by whipping the slaves who carry it. Browncloak: Their screams of agony will actually waft up and sweeten the fruit they're carrying. Newcomer: Wow... I never knew that. Whipper: It's true. Biological fact. beat Browncloak: Nah, we're just messing with you. We whip them to make them move faster. Whipper: Ha ha ha! Whipper: Oh, man, I can't believe you bought that! Browncloak: Seriously, though, this is important: If one of the elderly slaves starts to falter or slow down, you have to whip them even harder. Whipper: Yell at them to go faster, too. Newcomer: Why? I mean, if they are physically incapable of going faster due to age, why whip them for it? Browncloak: Well, because it's funny. Whipper: I nearly pee myself laughing when they fall down like a wet sack of sticks. Cut to an Elderly Slave. Browncloak (off-panel): Ooo! Look, There's one slowing down now. Whipper (off-panel): New guy, the honor is yours. Browncloak: Now, make sure you have a good grip on the handle, and don't forget to follow through. Whipper: Pretend you're Harrison Ford. The slave driver raises his whip to strike, when it it severed by a flying arrow, "snap!" Browncloak: Oh, right. Forgot to mention. Whenever you start to whip an elderly slave, there's about a 60% chance that some sort of hero will show up to stop you. Whipper: It really wears thin after a while. Four hooded figures appear. Whipper (off-panel): Hey! Who gave those slaves hoods? Browncloak (off-panel): I'm pretty sure we should be more worried about who gave them weapons. Haley: The true slaves here are you—slaves to an insane undead monster! Haley: We came to rescue these prisoners of war, because we are— They remove their cloaks revealing Haley, Isamu, Ho Thanh, and Niu. Haley: THE RESISTANCE! Isamu: Wait—"The Resistance"? I thought we agreed we were going to call ourselves, "The Azure City Underground"? Ho Thanh: I thought we were going with, "Sapphire Liberation Front". Niu: I still prefer, "Rebel Alliance". Haley: Ok, OK, name notwithstanding, we're here to free the slaves Isamu: But you just said that the hobgoblins were the true slaves. Does that mean— Haley: Oh my GODS, will you shut up and start resisting someone already?!? Isamu: Technically, I'm resisting— Haley: Resisting someone OTHER than me?!?! Isamu: Oh. D&D Context * "Usually Evil" describes the default alignment of hobgoblins in the Monster Manual, though individual hobgoblins could be of any alignment. Trivia * The title is a pun on the title of the 1988 film ''Gorillas in the Mist'', starring Sigourney Weaver as Dian Fossey. * This is Haley's first appearance in Don't Split the Party. * This is the first appearance of Ho Thanh, Niu, and Isamu, Haley's compatriots in the Resistance. * This is also the first appearance of Hobgoblin Granary Browncloak, and the Elderly Slave. * This is the only appearance of Hobgoblin Newcomer to Granary, and Hobgoblin Whipper from Granary, who appear in multiple pages in this strip. * Harrison Ford is famous for his role as the whip-wielding Indiana Jones in that series of movies. * The banter at the end is reminiscent of the running gag in Monty Python's Life of Brian about the names of the various resistance groups, with an additional reference to the Star Wars "Rebel Alliance". External Links * 511}} View the comic * 65968}} View the discussion thread Category:Haley Leads the Resistance